Counseling – Only True Hope

Living and Active – ACBC Conference Experience

October 9, 2023October 9, 2023 by Roger E. BayramianNo Comments

Fall has arrived in Southern California with a heat wave, pumpkin spice everything, and conferences. I enjoy attending one or two conferences each year since they help me grow professionally, both for my day job as an accountant and helping with ministry in the church. Last week, I attended the ACBC Annual Conference at Grace Baptist Church in Santa Clarita, CA. ACBC stands for the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors, and each year, they put on a conference to help biblical counselors grow in their skills and ability to help people. This year's conference topic was Living and Active, "Biblical Counseling and the Sufficiency of Scripture." The conference included six plenary sessions and many breakout sessions. The speakers for the plenary sessions were Dale Johnson, Ernie Baker, Abner Chou, H.B. Charles, Terry Enns, and Rick Holland. Dale Johnson started the conference with the topic of "The Folly of Fig Leaves." He stated that ACBC was drawing a line in the sand...

A Variety of Trials

August 15, 2022August 15, 2022 by Roger E. BayramianNo Comments

Trials come in a variety of ways, at various times, and with different pressure points. Some are relatively insignificant (a flat tire), while others are more impactful (a job layoff). I learn a lot about myself during trials, particularly from what comes from my heart. Often I become impatient and angry. I want the trial to end quickly and worry about the outcome. I usually ask the important question about trials too late, "what is the Lord trying to teach me?" The book of James reminds believers why trials exist, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:2-4)." Trials are a tool in the Lord's hand to grow the faith of believers. Yet, knowledge of that truth does not mean that our experience of trials will be easy. Last Friday, I began...

Hope from Heidelberg

July 11, 2022July 11, 2022 by Roger E. BayramianNo Comments

I have recently been reading through some of the historic confessions and catechisms. As I have been reading, one statement from the Heidelberg Catechism (1563) caught my attention and has been very encouraging. The first question in the catechism is: Q. What is your only comfort in life and in death?A. That I am not my own, but belong—body and soul, in life and in death—to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ.He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood, and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil. He also watches over me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my head without the will of my Father in heaven; in fact, all things must work together for my salvation.Because I belong to him, Christ, by his Holy Spirit, assures me of eternal life and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready from now on to live for him.The Heidleberg Catechism (1563) The question and answer...

A Time to Lament

May 25, 2022May 25, 2022 by Roger E. BayramianNo Comments

Here we go again? Another American mass murder. First, it was ten African Americans murdered in Buffalo, New York. Yesterday, it was nineteen children and two adults in Uvalde, Texas. How do we make sense of these atrocious acts in our country? I would suggest that we pause. This is not a time for trivial or simplistic answers, nor is it a time for egotistical politicians to push their agendas. Now is a time to lament before the Lord and mourn with those who mourn. Some families have had their lives changed forever, and answers that will never bring their loved ones back. The Psalm writers would often lament before the Lord with questions of "how" and "why" in response to the most challenging circumstances in life (see Psalm 10, 13, 22). Lament was a way for the psalmist to express their deep mourning and trust in God. Lament allows one to mourn the realities of this fallen world, leading back to...

Money, Exercise, and Motivations of the Heart

April 29, 2022April 29, 2022 by Roger E. BayramianNo Comments

How do you combine money, exercise, and the motivations of the heart? Answer: Paceline Paceline is a new fitness app that gives rewards for exercising. This app is not the first to combine exercise with rewards, but it has additional benefits. The Paceline app is the first fitness app that I have seen which combines credit card rewards and the ability to receive a free Apple Watch (Series 7). How it works First, you download the Paceline app, which connects to Apple Health, Fitbit, or Garmin. Next, you will need a fitness tracker that includes heart rate tracking. The goal is to have 150 minutes of elevated heart rate (eHr) per week (maximum 50 minutes a day). For example, a brisk walk will track an elevated heart rate. You will receive a reward each week that you reach the exercise goal. These rewards include $1 Amazon gift cards and other offers for discounts on products and services. The real benefit to the program comes with...

Book Review: Redeem Your Marriage: Hope for Husbands Who Have Hurt through Pornography by Curis Solomon

April 18, 2022April 18, 2022 by Roger E. BayramianNo Comments

I recently had the opportunity to read a new book by Curis Solomon called, Redeem Your Marriage: Hope for Husbands Who Have Hurt through Pornography. His wife, Jenny Solomon, also wrote a companion book called Reclaim Your Marriage: Grace for Wives Who Have Been Hurt by Pornography. Solomon is a biblical counselor and serves as the Executive Director of the Biblical Counseling Coalition. The topic of pornography is important for biblical counselors to address. Unfortunately, the message in our culture seems to be that porn is no big deal, and my experience in the church is that many people struggle but few people talk about the issue. This new book by Solomon felt you were sitting with a friend over coffee who offered hope and wisdom to deal with this common struggle with sin. I appreciate the transparency from his own life and how he held the tension of calling pornography evil while not condemning the one struggling. Instead, he...

Book Review: When Home Hurts by Jeremy Pierre and Greg Wilson

September 15, 2021September 15, 2021 by Roger E. BayramianNo Comments

How should the church handle domestic abuse? What steps can a church take to help those affected by abuse? In their new book, When Home Hurts: A Guide for Responding Wisely to Domestic Abuse in Your Church, Jeremy Pierre and Greg Wilson provide a new resource to help church leaders deal with domestic abuse. In this book, Pierre and Wilson provide a practical resource for the church to help care for those affected by abuse. They deal primarily with male abusers while giving counsel in the appendix for cases of female abusers. The authors divide the book into three sections: 1) How to Understand Abuse, 2) How to Respond After the Initial Disclosure, and 3) How to Care in the Long Term. In the first section, they discuss the dynamics of abuse. They explain the experience, "Abuse occurs as a person in a position of greater inﬂuence uses his personal capacities to diminish the personal capacities of those under his inﬂuence in...

Book Review: Saints, Sufferers, and Sinners by Michael Emlet

June 18, 2021June 18, 2021 by Roger E. BayramianNo Comments

If someone asked, "who are you?" how would you answer? Every person answers this question about their identity. We receive our first identity from our parents on our birth certificate. Our identity includes our gender, race, and first and last name. Our identity shapes how we view the world, think about ourselves, and relate to other people. The Bible uses a variety of identity language to describe believers (i.e., sinner, saint, child of God, forgiven, and redeemed). As described in the title of his new book, "Saints, Suffers, and Sinners: Loving Others as God Loves Us", Michael Emlet uses three terms to describe a Christian's identity. The three identities saints, sufferers, and sinners are not separate categories but are true realities of all believers. These three categories are woven together in each believer. These realities teach us how God loves us and how we should reciprocate that love to others. Emlet calls these "signposts for wise love." He emphasizes the order of...

The Sound of Solitude

May 26, 2021May 26, 2021 by Roger E. BayramianNo Comments

Mount Baldy (elevation 10,064 ft) “All our miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone [with God].” Blaise Pascal It is hard to escape the noise of everyday life. In Los Angeles, you cannot escape the morning traffic or the evening police car chase. There are the routine sounds we hear: working in a busy office, talking with coworkers and friends, listening to music or a favorite podcast, sitting in a coffee shop, eating dinner with friends, or watching the latest series on Netflix. There are the constant sounds we hear: text messages, emails, tweets, calendar reminders, to-do list alerts, breaking news, and spam phone calls. There are also the sounds of our busy hearts: our anxious thoughts, and our endless desires. All these sounds often turn into noise that is hard to escape. I often long to be in solitude to escape the noise of normal everyday life, so that I can think and refocus. I...

Why do I complain so much?

May 5, 2021May 5, 2021 by Roger E. BayramianNo Comments

A week ago, my family visited a local farm to pick strawberries. As we left, I bought each of my kids a flavored popsicle for the drive home. They enjoyed it for a few minutes until I heard from the back of the car that my son wanted a napkin because he did not like it. My ten-year-old daughter told my eight-year-old son, "You never like anything, it's too hot, or it's too cold, it doesn't taste good, you are never satisfied." At that moment I did not know whether I should commend her for her skillful assessment of the human heart or to comfort my son who had just received a tongue lashing as he had his heart exposed. Over this last year it seems that complaining has become so normal that we do not realize we are doing it all the time. Can you believe the traffic? I cannot believe I have to wear a mask outside. These politicians...